Come on in and see my amazing VAGINA!!!!!

Ah yes, I am going to come right out and say the V word. Why not? It seems everyone has a hand in it these days - I mean literally! I don't actually get to see it myself, since it's DOWN THERE, but it must be very nice, I mean, to get so much attention.

I've had a LOT of ultrasounds since we began this process in earnest last January, so really, I shouldn't be too put off by my exam today. But this was pushing it, even for me. I had my "mock embryo transfer" where they literally practice putting the catheter in up through my cervix that will be used when they go to put my (hopefully) lovely, perfect and plentiful embryos back into my uterus after my egg retrieval later this month.

So, that wasn't too bad. Didn't really hurt too much, or anything. No problem - went well - great. But, as usual, when the speculum is in, the paper sheet gets pushed up and there is very little between your private lady parts and the world. But at least it's THERE, you know? I had no idea how much that paper sheet meant to me until today, when they had to push it up even FURTHER to bare my tummy for an exterior ultrasound to check my ovaries for follicles, etc.

Well, now, I'm literally naked from the waist down, feet up in stirrups and NOTHING over me. And did I mention that they keep the door wide open (yes there is a curtain drawn in front of it) because it "creates optimal lighting for reading the ultrasound." But it is so f*&^d up, hearing people walking by the door, having regular conversations while I'm in this position, the doctor is standing there taking FOREVER talking with the nurse about why they can't seem to find my right ovary? (did it finally get tired of being told it is an underachiever, nobody understands it anyway, and run away to join the circus or something?).

Just when I think there are no more barriers to break through with regard to my modesty, my Reproductive Endocrinologist manages to find one more way to mortify even MY dwindling sensibilities.

Even better - they had to use the dreaded wand anyway, after leaving me hanging in the wind for many excruciating minutes. So up it goes (yes, up THERE) to find the missing R ovary - but no good. It's MIA.

So, you know, if you asked me right now to show you my vagina I'd probably whip it out and show it to you. Because really, how much worse can it get? Maybe I'll put it on web-cam or something. At least maybe I'd put some $ back in my pockets - since everything we have right now goes to IF treatments!

And for all of this, it still looks like my follicle count is the same. There are still just 5 on the left. No count for the right, since it is off somewhere pouting.

Did I mention I started to cry today in the office when I had to give myself yet another shot?

I'm starting to crack up, I think. I just can't . . . imagine . . . why!

More later after 1pm when I get to find out my lab results and see what other wonderful things are in store for me this week . . .

-kelly